As men, we are pre-programmed to fix things when they are (or appear to be) broken. This can range from the leaky tap, the poor Wifi coverage in the apartment, but can also be relationships.
I think this program allows us to shine as providers and protectors, ensuring the home is safe to live in, the car is safe to commute in, the fridge keeps the food from going bad, the washing machine able to keep our clothes clean etc.
However, certain things can't be fixed, as they are beyond our control (even if we naively think otherwise). And that is what stresses men out. A lot.
And most of the time, these things are tied to relationships. It could be the bad vibes between your wife and your parents. Or that between you and your in-laws. We tend to want to "fix" these things, but end of day, recognising these are not fixable is the key to living a happier life, at least for yourself.
Being able to do that will also likely allow you to be happier no matter how your children turn out as they grow into adults and have their own families. You don't have to fix certain things.
So what if your wife seem to hate your parents? So what if you feel your in-laws doesn't really care or trust you? It's entirely up to yourself to decide how to deal with it, and dealing with it doesn't mean fixing it and making the relationship "perfect". There's no such thing. Even you and your own parents will fight and disagree, what more someone who isn't raised by them (your wife to your parent, or you to your in-laws). It doesn't mean they don't love them, it just means the love won't develop to the same level as what you think it will be, but it doesn't have to be fixed. Of course, if the relationship has broken down to the extent of being hostile, that's a totally different situation. But small hiccups and disagreement, and even general coldness is actually ok. Don't force it, and don't be too bothered by it. Don't react negatively immediately to what's being said or done in the heat of moment. Everyone has emotions and will say wrong things sooner or later, and it's better to play it down and extinguish it with peace and understanding instead of fighting all the time. The anger of fighting doesn't make it better, it just makes things worse. If you can't fix it, at least don't make it worse, make sense? lol
Of course, you must draw lines that if crossed, you stand up and defend that line. But that line should be for something very serious, like physical attacks, or insidious thoughts, or pure disrespect that is unacceptable. Most of the time, I feel its just harmless rants, which if played down, will not grow into worse things.
May peace be with you
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