stay a mystery

As you age, you will learn this

The more you keep things to yourself, the more people will be attracted to you in a respectful manner

Why?

because you are a mystery

and because they don't know much about your plans and thoughts and your connections and your resources, they become more respectful. They watch what they say. 

They watch what they want to judge and comment

Because they have no idea what you are capable of. So there is a fear of the unknown

And that forms respect. 

Its like the nuclear nations. They don't ever tell you the number of war heads they have and where they are located. That creates fear and respect, even from their strongest adversaries.

So, remain a mystery to everyone, and sometimes keep a little mystery even to your closest ones. 

Its a necessary evil to gain respect. 

Talk too much, no good

Just listen and remember more. And don't gossip. 

Want to have a conversation? Talk about the weather, talk about the food you like. Those are all neutral. 

Don't talk about property and investments, as those will inevitably lead to you exposing your most important financial plans, since these are the major investments for most people.

Don't talk about health, since it will lead to you exposing your health issues to someone you might not like to have such information about you

This isn't about being a bad person. 

Its about how to manage your life. Its about how to live a peaceful life with control over those things you can have control of. 

You can't control how others think, but you can control how much information you let them know about you. 

Why billionaires who are married want to cheat and why their GFs are ugly AF

 If you are a rich F billionaire or even maybe just 10M worth, you would think you will have your choice of the hottest chicks at your disposal. 

True, but those are probably just flings or escorts who are transactional 

But to build a relationship, its requires more than looks. You need someone who shares your views, your lifestyle, understand you, etc etc. And to tie that to hot looks, that is not easy

Morevoer, I believe such successful people are actually very lonely and have a very small circle of trusted, if any friends. Every new person they meet are met with sus. Everyone knows who you are, how much you have. So everyone will be tempted.

So, look at the famous rich people who cheated on their spouses. The 3rd party are usually younger, but not really lookers. You would know why.

Close to home, you see rich 2nd gen people having relations and marriage with people you would think they will stay away from. But they took it up. No idea why. They probably have really really bad decision making skills, as their lives are so easy and comfortable since their rich daddy and mummy ensured all comforts are provided and no struggles will happen. Without struggle, and with abundance of material comfort, one will never have the skills required to live in the real world, the skills of trade off and choices. 

Because if you have everything, you don't have to make trade offs at all. Any bad decision can be resolved by throwing resources at it. But this doesn't buy you more time in your life. It will cause you to spend your limited lifespan on useless things, and before you know it, you are 70 yr old fart with lots of money, but stupid as F.

Lower expectations

 If you are unhappy, the fastest and cheapest way to raise it is to lower your expectations 

Lower your expectations of a cheap meal and you’ll enjoy it for the value you get vs a posh dinner at a fancy place

Lower your expectations of a perfectly clean room and you’ll be blown away by the cleaniless and comfort provided by a decently run mid range hotel chain, compared to the price you paid

Lower your expectations of your spouse and you’ll be happy when he or she does something for you 

Lower your expectations of a wealthy life and you’ll realized how rich you are already

Dry powder during these times

 The stock market is getting more volatile, especially after the mid terms 

Even the normally sedated SG market is having some wild swings.

I had redeemed my entire investment fund that was using SRS recently

And I do still have my buffer cash for expenses and mortgages for the next 2-3 years to prepare for some property movements

So as the saying goes…have some dry powder on hand to buy discounted stocks 

I guess my first wave of powder will be my SRS. It can be used to buy either the STI or SP500 ETFs. 

The second wave will be my cash reserves but triggering that will require some balls. Because it may jeopardize my property movements that require some liquid cash. So perhaps that second wave can be ready in 2-3 years

So, hang on to SRS, don’t fire into market yet. 

Hang on to the cash, so I can feel safe and sleep well knowing my property plans won’t be affected no matter what happens to the market, which can also include a notable cut in dividends which then require me to drawn down more on my cash chest. 

I do not want to sell my equities at the lows 

The joy of early retirement

I have no words to be fair to it

Don't get me wrong. Retirement (even if early) doesn't remove all stresses in your life. It didn't do that for me.

But it DOES remove a huge chunk of stress that was previously direct and indirectly due to my employment. 

Working with a global team but being based in Singapore, I have spent almost 20 years of my working life juggling between 3 times zones or sometimes even 4. Think of having team mates based in UK, France, USA, India all at once. 

My working hours aren't a standard 9-6 block, but a fragmented time throughout my day, and sometimes even my Saturday mornings if I want to catch folks in US West Coast on their Fridays.

So while my total work hours are probably in the typical range of 50hrs per week, it actually feels more like 70 hours. 

Why?

In between my working hours that were split up, I ran errands, fetch kids, make meals, do housework. These are all intentional, as I don't have the luxury of "after work" hours blocks to do these. So the context switching of my mind is crazy, and takes a huge toil on my mental and physical health. 

As much as I think I managed to get used to this and get it working mostly fine, I know at the back of my mind that I am walking on a thin thread of wire. A cock up, and the crash will be very painful and hard to recover, and ironically that added more stress, to ensure this whole system don't fail lol.

So I never ever switch off from work. Imagine 20 years of that

Now you can understand what joys my early retirement brings. 

I still have stress now, stress from running the family, stress from taking care of my mental and physical well being, as well as to ensure the money works. But this is nothing compared to the huge chunk that was removed after leaving the working world that I was part of. 

So, don't ask me what I use my time for now that I am retired. 

Its none of your business

its not for you

I will enjoy my life.

A good life

and I will take care of myself and my loved ones

respect again

 its very hard to get over it

respect for one another is basic decency

respect for your life partner is a requirement

maybe it reflected how I behaved myself?

Its horrible

that I even have to doubt myself now

why do I have to endure this

who the hell berate your parent and expect you to be ok with it?

so, we are like punching bags?

I have less than 50% battery life left

why should I put up with this shit

if I don't put a stop on this, my children will do the same to me, since "he put up with it before"

time to take action

get the things lined up

I am extremely good with planning

so I will use this skill to safeguard myself

so I can easily flip the switch off and I won't suffer

time to hunker down and get ready for battle

a battle that I don't intend to lose

Respect

PCB really no more respect for me.

Other day raised voice at my mum 

If I do that to your mum, you can take it? I don’t think so

My mother also endure and just let it go without taking to me about it later. She knows not to make a bigger deal out of it to reduce damage 

Then few days later, raise voice and argue with me at counter in front of waitress, over a simple lunch order. And I wasn’t even wrong. 

I really hate it when this happens. What do you expect me to do? Shout back at you? Or say sorry ? No good outcome at all. You don’t give me face, and you want me to give you face?

Who am I? 

CCB

connecting with your child

 Sometimes, when we take time and effort to listen first and then provide light touch of guidance or simply rephrase expressions into more adult like sentences, it can create maigc

not always, but when it happens, you will feel it

and its really magical

its like you unlocked a new level in a game

The feeling when your child talks enthusiastically about something to you, and how he or her face lights up or nods when you say something in response. 

These are precious moments in life. way more important and memorable than any work achievements or promotions or extra bonuses. 

These are things you will bring to grave, happily 

I am glad that I have an expanse of freedom to continue to explore opportunities to create such moments in my life. Maybe it doesn't do much for the child, its more for me. But I want to believe at least it will do something for my child. It definitely does magic for me as a parent. 

I thank the good fortune. 

floating

 I feel I am floating

No, I am not high from painkillers lol

Still, because I need to focus on resting, I feel I am just doing nothing. No housework, no going out, nothing to clean, no exercise. 

But I do make some investments as usual, so its not that bad

But I am not complaining. 

I don't have stress, or at least its very low level normal stress of daily living. 

No money worries, though the recent turmoil in SG market did rattle me a little, but I think I have come to terms with it now

Just have to watch my expenses, but at same time, if its money well spent, I should proceed.

Tomorrow is not a given as everyone like to say

RIP to the young 25yo lady who was killed in a car accident, caused by a DUI driver. I am so sorry to hear about your demise. At the prime of your life, just when you were ready to get married, move to new flat and perhaps looking forward to having babies. Please RIP. Take comfort that the driver had been arrested and will face severe punishment since our laws on drink driving had been tightened recently. You will get justice for sure. 

Thank you for reminding me that life is unpredictable and therefore I should enjoy my life whenever I can and not get stressed out over little irritations. 

The fortune of retirement, an early one at that

 I am now recuperating from a procedure done to fix an old injury. Got 30 day sick leave from the hospital. 

Technically I don't need it of course, but its good to know that I will have 30 days of paid leave if I had been employed gainfully, to recover.

However, full recovery for this will take 3-6 months, which means if I were not retired, I could be going back to office after 30 days, while risking a slower recovery as I hustle during my day time, and potentially or more likely, I'll miss PT sessions, forget to do my routine PT work out as deemed necessary for my recovery. That would had been stressful though still doable. But I can imagine the mental load amid the stress of the work itself. 

I am so glad I am retired. I can do all the PT exercises according to specific routine and timelines. I can go take a nap if I feel tired, so my body can regenerate. I can also decide whenever, to get a good snack or meal to help my body.

This is good fortune. To be able to full focus on recovery, without the distractions and stresses from a full time job. And also, no worries about medical bills, since this is covered by my insurance. Plus I made the right choice to use subsidised public healthcare system, which is really excellent here in SG. 

I also gain a genuine appreciation of the hardworking that my government has put in to ensure we have excellent healthcare services at affordable prices. To people who keep whining, wait still its your turn to use it, and then come back to tell me if you still want to whine.