mood swings

 its happening again

Nothing was wrong with life

but why

I seem to think I got it

I guess its the lack of closeness

the lack of talking

each day, just be on our phones, on our earphones until we sleep

and then I started feeling resentful 

resentful of what I need to do in the next 1-2 years

resentful because I know its going to eat a chunk of me when I do that, and its a big sacrifice, and yet my intuition and past experiences tell me that this will be a sacrifice in vain. I will be suffering for no good reason and I am thus wasting my life

I know even after doing this big thing, it's not going to matter, because it's only big to me. Its not important to others

No one will know my pain

I want to leave, but I can't bear to

its a struggle

its like a dead end

Importance of sun

 I felt lethargic for a good part of past 2 weeks, mostly due to recovery from coughing and a bad tummy.

I know I was on recovery path, but it felt that it dragged its feet.

So I decided to go for a weekday morning bike ride at ECP, when the glorious morning sun is out from 9am 

I rode for over 1.4 hours

It was a slow and leisure ride, with some stops to enjoy the scenery given its a week day and the path I took was really empty

Guess what? I was so refreshed for the rest of the day and the next few days!

wow!

I think baking in the sun for 1-2 hours does wonders for our health, both physically and mentally

Of course I will not go crazy and overboard, given that I don't like sunscreen/block and thus would not want to risk skin damage/cancer

While I am active, running and cycling every week, those are mostly during evenings or before morning sun is out

So from now on, I must make it a point to do a day of 9am run/walk/cycle to soak in some vitamin D (VD! lol )

kids

 I am happy

My kids are definitely on a trajectory that is good and likely to exceed mine

Not in terms of just finances, though that should be too given that I am setting up a good example :D

But in terms of maturity at their ages, sensibility and most importantly, ability to be critical in thinking

If anything, this is what I will be most proud of in my life. 

I will continue to devote my resources and time and effort to support them in this path. 

Smooth driver

Now when I drive, i pretend I am the transporter 😆

No I am not reckless

Conversely, I drive as smooth as possible 

No sudden braking, no sudden acceleration 

Avoid pot holes

Give way and keep and safe distance 

There’s a lot of satisfaction in doing it

It’s like a form of pride

Pride of your craft

I am not a taxi driver 

But if i am one, i will drive this way

Why?

Because I will want the best comfortable and safe and smooth but yet fast journey for my customer

I feel it makes a big difference 

I can feel my passengers enjoying my smooth driving 

I want to be known as a good driver 

Not a slow one

But a fast, smooth driver

That makes you feel safe and excited and secured 

Homes and memories

 I am in my 3rd marital home and this will be so for another 2yrs plus before we moved to the 4th one.

Each home we owned and lived in has immense memories for us as a family.

Happy times will be remembered 

Through photos of celebrations and joys and daily life taken in each apartment while we were there 

It costs nothing to preserve these in videos and photos so I take as much as I can.

Pretty sure these will be useful when I am old like in my 80s, when I am mostly home based and have lots of time to reminisce lol

Some people will so very attached to a home and refuse to move. I am not that type.

To me, a home is a phase. Once the phase is past, we move on.

I don’t forget the home. 

But I do want to make sure my kids can remember these homes 

Under weather

 Been feeling under weather these few days

I think it started from some stomachaches last week which has since cleared up 

I am eating well but there’s a lingering feeling of being sick.

No fever 

I decided to skip my jogging today to rest well

Age is catching up for sure but I think I am doing well. Regular exercise and good diet. More importantly must manage my stress level. 

Yes don’t get stressed or worked up over small things in life .

Life is good. Enjoy

Maybe I ate too much sushi for lunch lah lol 

Greedy pig uncle 

if you are retired and got bored and restless...do this

This is coming from real personal experience lol

Do house work.

Dust off things

make the beds nicely, change fresh sheets

Tidy up the desks of your kids

Arrange items that are on tables neatly. Go full OCD mode

Don't rush, take your time. Clean and observe the things

You will gain a new form appreciation of what's going on at home

You can get some level of accomplishments 

Either way, there is only positive feelings from doing it. 

Just don't go tire yourself or injure yourself doing very heavy things

When I wash my washrooms weekly, I don't just clean mindlessly. I clean intentionally. I make sure all corners are covered

I made sure places are kept dry

I made sure the glass and mirrors are shiny

I take note of stocks, like shampoo, toilet paper, toothpaste, handwashing liquid etc

I take note of wear and tear

These will then generate a list of to do to keep me busy

This isn't like a typical housewife/husband doing chores. These are not chores to me

This is me upkeeping the most important place, my home, for myself and my loved ones. What could be more important than this, especially now that I am retired and have time on my hand to focus on it?

Having a clean, well maintained, efficient, neat home does wonders for everyone. 

When my son comes home from a long day in school, tired and sweaty, a clean desk and made bed definitely feels like a fresh start again

Running a home isn't that hard. It's only hard if you pile into it too many things that require a lot of maintenance work. 

To me, the 2 biggest things that consumes time for a home are :

Cooking

House keeping

I don't have to cook, so it's just housekeeping. 

I use high quality appliances so they do their job well and they don't break down easily and they are also easy to maintain. Having to worry about breaking appliances and replacing them is not fun. I spend top $ for good washer, dryer, fridge, etc etc. These things are expensive but they are a joy to use and they last a long time as long you take care of them. They are also pleasing to look at if you keep them clean.

I don't have a lot of display shelves. Those are time suckers, They collect a lot of dust. 

I throw, recycle, pass on, things that I no longer need or use, so I don't need to store them and then carry the mental load of remembering I have them somewhere in my storeroom. Lesser is better and its true

I am not minimalist 

So, if you are bored, look at your home and find something to clean and tidy and fix. You won't be bored

The ugly not poor not wealthy ones

 Have you seen such people before? They are quite common in SG

White collar profession 

High income

Flashy car 

Flashy apartment

Branded everything 

Pretty/handsome spouse 

Kids groomed in a specific way, branded schools all the way 

Talks mostly about themselves, where they vacationed recently, how their BMW is lousy and unreliable, how their condo balcony is too big to keep clean easily, how their domestic helpers are struggling to clean their big house etc. 

they also ask very typical questions : where your kids are schooling, what job you do, where you live, what car you drive

All the while, they humble brag so as to be “humble”

These are the most mean, selfish people you can get acquainted with. don’t do it

They will bring nothing to the table as a friend. Maybe you think they can give you connections to better opportunities. I don’t think so. They will take more than they give, so think twice before jumping in. 

I have relatives who are like this. I see them once a year , during CNY. 

They shake your hand and say Happy New Year. But they don’t look at you. They look through you. Not even pleasantries are muttered. They just want you to see their performance. Their loud conversations.

It’s very very cheesy but also very enlightening for me. I keep a distance from them. There’s no need to engage. No benefits at all. All they have in their tiny materialist minds are “are they doing better than me, are their kids doing better than mine”. It’s reflects in the questions asked if they somehow end up seated next to you for dinner and have to make small talk.

I recall a few examples :

A : how’s your daughter O levels? Which JC she’s applying for?

Me: she did well and she’s going to XXX school. 

A: wow, nice. (Turns to wife) sure do well one, parents very smart mah.

Me : (my girl is seated next to me and hears it all) well, I don’t think so, it’s her hardwork and she earned the results. She worked really hard for this. 

A : (munches food) 

See? He got caught off guard right? Don’t be sarcastic lah. Don’t you dare undermine my child’s efforts. Yes she inherited my smarts, so you jealous is it? 

These are cousins who always feel they need to prove themselves because they didn’t do as well academically as us when young. TBH, it’s also a product of our parents generation mentality of always comparing grades of their kids. But come on, you are full grown ass man now. You cannot have your own mind?

Next one:

B: heard you are staying at this condo ?

Me : yeah we moved in couple of years back as first owners

B: Wah, make a lot of money already lor…

Me: well, maybe, but it’s our home and we are living there for long term, so the value growing is nice but it’s just on paper. 

So fucker, you asked where we stay to assess our finances? 

Let me tell you, I don’t do such low class shit. When discussing homes, I always ask about how was the place, what do you like about it. I won’t ask about profits, prices etc unless the other party initiated such a direction. Be classy. Not snitch and then pass sarcastic remarks to show your jealousy. And mind you, my teenage kid is here listening. We are the adults, behave like one. 

So, keep a distance from such people, relative or not. Doesn’t matter. Get them out of your life. I don’t need them and they don’t need me. 

Hot weather hotter drivers

 Well not all. But somehow , each time I drive, there will always be an encounter with impatient drivers.

To them : go to hell. That’s all

Pretty sure if you see them in person they are nice people 

But behind the wheel and pressed for time, they are monsters. Recklessly driving around, honking, overtaking, speeding, cutting queues, tailgating.

They hide inside their car when you engage. Thats how cowardly these people are. Strip them off their stupid metal box on wheels, and they are no better than the scums in society. Full of shit and full of themselves

As when we drive we get emotional but for me, it’s always due to these drivers 

Over time I am more better able to manage and have measured responses. The best solution is always to let them go first. Go first to hell. 

Then, made a recording and submit to TP if it’s an offense or inconsiderate driving. Just submit. I am a taxpayer and I abide by the laws. I’ll let my taxes do the work. Let TP go spend resources to harass and make life inconvenient for these jokers. They won’t even know what hit them lol. And I don’t even have to lift a finger to hurt them myself. I’ll let the officers do it, let the law do it. Fine, jail, demerit points, poor driving on record. All the best fuckers 

Stress display? Again?

 https://www.asiaone.com/singapore/elderly-man-shoved-floor-east-coast-coffeeshop-the-bullion-after-patting-childs-head

Now, if I have a little girl, I won’t be happy if some random dude just pat her, no matter how gentle it may be. We need boundaries. She is not your grandchild. You can smile and say hi, but you don’t touch. But I also won’t hurt the guy like what happened in this case, since it’s clear that the elder didn’t mean harm. I will be firm and let him know I don’t like that and ask him to keep a distance. End of story. Life goes on. 

Looking at how the mother reacted, she is definitely complicit in triggering the over reaction of her husband. It’s like how Will Smith went up for the smack after seeing his wife’s expression. 

It takes two to clap.

Why?

If the mother had reacted in a more calm and measured manner, I don’t think the father would had rushed back to the table since he seems to be at the drink stall getting something. The video has no audio, but I suspect she must had shouted or screamed. 

If you always make a mountain out of a mole hill, soon, your husband will ignore you or leave you. You are basically baiting him to be the man without being a real man. Even for small matters. You are the escalator. 

Of course the father is also one kind. You either have very little control over your own brain and body, or you let your wife control you. If not, why would you then seat down and offer a drink to apologize? You acted as if you were so right just moments earlier, ready to defend your ladies in your life. And now you say sorry to the “bad guy”?

There’s only one explanation. You let your wife control you. So you acted first without thinking rationally. Everytime she scream, you go beat someone up. You are a security dog?

Wish the old uncle speedy recovery and hopefully no long term injury that would affect his quality of life. A fall like that for someone in his age can be devastating. 

Wish the attacker get charged for causing hurt, and get punished according to our laws. He better compensate the medical bills incurred as well. 

He should also be the dishwasher for the stall for a few years to appreciate the hard work of our hawkers and stall operators.