Stress display? Again?

 https://www.asiaone.com/singapore/elderly-man-shoved-floor-east-coast-coffeeshop-the-bullion-after-patting-childs-head

Now, if I have a little girl, I won’t be happy if some random dude just pat her, no matter how gentle it may be. We need boundaries. She is not your grandchild. You can smile and say hi, but you don’t touch. But I also won’t hurt the guy like what happened in this case, since it’s clear that the elder didn’t mean harm. I will be firm and let him know I don’t like that and ask him to keep a distance. End of story. Life goes on. 

Looking at how the mother reacted, she is definitely complicit in triggering the over reaction of her husband. It’s like how Will Smith went up for the smack after seeing his wife’s expression. 

It takes two to clap.

Why?

If the mother had reacted in a more calm and measured manner, I don’t think the father would had rushed back to the table since he seems to be at the drink stall getting something. The video has no audio, but I suspect she must had shouted or screamed. 

If you always make a mountain out of a mole hill, soon, your husband will ignore you or leave you. You are basically baiting him to be the man without being a real man. Even for small matters. You are the escalator. 

Of course the father is also one kind. You either have very little control over your own brain and body, or you let your wife control you. If not, why would you then seat down and offer a drink to apologize? You acted as if you were so right just moments earlier, ready to defend your ladies in your life. And now you say sorry to the “bad guy”?

There’s only one explanation. You let your wife control you. So you acted first without thinking rationally. Everytime she scream, you go beat someone up. You are a security dog?

Wish the old uncle speedy recovery and hopefully no long term injury that would affect his quality of life. A fall like that for someone in his age can be devastating. 

Wish the attacker get charged for causing hurt, and get punished according to our laws. He better compensate the medical bills incurred as well. 

He should also be the dishwasher for the stall for a few years to appreciate the hard work of our hawkers and stall operators. 

Stress display

 Was at supermarket to do a grocery run.

Approaching the banana stand, I saw a middle age man selecting bananas from the stand, his back facing me. As I approach, a trolley came in between me and this man. That’s a little abrupt but it’s ok since it’s very crowded today and the supermarket space is tight. The banana man put down his right arm after picking out a bunch of bananas and as he did so I think his elbow touched the man who was pushing the troller through. They stopped and looked at each other, I was expecting some murmurs of excuse me or sorry from either one but both kept quiet I think since I am so close.

Suddenly the troller dude started ranting and pointing fingers. “ so well educated want to do such things, purposely use arm to hit others!” And so on. They faced each other and I was right there lol. The troller man continued his berating without wanted to listen to anything the banana man was trying to say. Banana man was not shouting as I think he was also caught off guard by the unexpected outburst and he definitely didn’t want to escalate things. After a few shoutings and realizing he wasn’t getting the fight he wanted, the trolly man walked away mumbling and then told a young boy to follow him and said “don’t be like such people”. I didn’t notice the boy until then. Ong so this little boy around 6-7 age was his son and probably was scared. Or maybe he had seen such played out many times and got used to it, which is tragic. 

I tapped the banana man shoulder and told him it’s not his fault and there’s something off with the other guy so just let him be. He nodded and we went about our own business.

I am glad banana man is a mature and sensible fellow who could see beyond the immediate provocation and look at things from the correct perspective. 

I feel sorry for trolley man and especially his son. Hope whatever issues he was get resolved peacefully and he can rebuild with his son a good relationship as a father. 

It is also a lesson for myself as a father. I must have standards and especially when my kids are observing. They learn by example and leadership of their father. So be a good one. Learn to control emotions and restrain outbursts even when it’s a trying situation. There is not good outcomes when outbursts become uncontrollable barrage of fire. 

Cashflow from dividends and interests

 https://substack.com/@unclelimkopi/note/c-314426879?r=8h6mpk&utm_medium=ios&utm_source=notes-share-action

Fine line between hustle and manners

 Was chilling at a neighbourhood cafe this morning, sipping my Long Black and reading my ebook.

Suddenly I hear a thud, and I felt it via the table since my arms are resting on the edge. Then another thud.

Looked up and saw this young chap, probably late 20s to early 30s, crew neck tee and neat short haircut, plonking down his laptop, handphone, AirPods and power back. 

Come on dude, you need to announce your arrival is it? WTF

Then after he opened his MacBook, he let out a sign and said FUCK (not loud, but I can hear), walked off leaving his stuff on table

His food order arrived shortly and the waiter gently placed is down next to his laptop. The waiter was gentle, no sound. That's the right thing to do. 

After few minutes, mr bad manners came back, opened up his MacBook, put on his AirPods and joined a video call. His AirPods hasn't connected properly before he started the call, and suddenly everything was on speaker mode at high volume, and he is talking about trying to get his AirPods connected, while no attempts were made to lower the stupid speaker mode volume. Luckily his AirPods made it. 

Now, he started his meeting. He speaks with an accent, likely American or faked American, whatever, I don't care. But he was loud. So I can't help but listen in lol

Apparently he is like a manager, just assigned to a team who lost their manager, likely a lay off, that sucks. He he started talking a lot, mostly trivial to me, as he seems to be using many flowering words in the talking, not going for main points. 

To me, this guy seems to want to show the cafe how important he is. All those sounds he made are to get attention. 

Sir, you sure got attention...as a bad mannered immature punk. 

Yes, this is not a library, so I have no issues with noise. But I have issue with manners. You don't fucking plonk your shit down on table like this.

You don't fucking, of all seats in the mostly empty cafe, picked to sit right across me and start your fucking loud mouth "I am so important" shit show. 

Luckily I am mostly done with my coffee and was about to leave anyway. 

I am not impressed 

Good luck to you young man. 

I am glad I am over this work shit

Maybe you think you impressed me or made me envy you. LOL

I feel for you. All the best. You may be really successful in your job, but manners maketh man. Good manners speaks louder. Fucking brash, and thinking you are big fuck. LOL

Anyway, I am reading a nice book, and I am contented and thus I have time to reflect. 

It tells me that I should maintain good manners myself. 

Happiness and money

 In the last 2 weeks my stock holdings value spiked up, by around SGD $200k

I was euphoric of course…for a day. LOL

Sad face

So a certain amount of money will be required to be happy. But beyond a level, anything extra is bonus but don’t give you sustained happiness boost

The happiness has to come from within. It must come from being able to live the life you want, a life that aligns with your core values of what it means to be a person, what it takes to make a difference to people that matters to you. 

I won’t complain about my stock holdings going to the moon, but I want to say, it does give peace of mind but it is ultimately not a guarantee to happiness that is blissful and sustained 

Underlying issues are heavy

 Without fully resolving underlying issues in heart…

You can feel heavy

You can feel uninterested in everything in life

You feel lack of motivation to move

To plan

To feel

To try

I have been fighting but it always come back now and then

And the frequency is getting higher

But I am not giving up

Life is good

I should try again

But I will grow 

Stronger 

Firmer

To protect myself first 

Stand your ground against bullies, but don't become one

 Driving in SG, you will encounter very nice drives, blur ones, but the worst....the nasty and bullies

Encountered a taxi driver today

He drove into HDB open air carpark together with me, with me in front of his car.

From the onset, I noticed he was tailing rather closely (well, I can barely see his headlights from my rear view mirror, so its close yeah)

I know from experience this is going to another jerk driver. So I just drive constant speed of around 15-20kph, certainly a normal speed in carpark, while just ignore him.

However, when I slowed down to park, I noticed he surged forward and to my left, as if he wanted to pass me. WTH

In SG, its very common for cars to reverse into lots as our carparks are tight

So when you follow another car inside a carpark, there's a high chance it will stop and reverse especially there are empty lots. This is common sense. 

So this joker driver decided to tail me, giving me no space should I want to stop and reverse. And then he tried to pass me. Mind you, this is a single lane road with 2 roads of lots for cars.

He had no choice but to reverse to give me space else he won't be able to pass as I already started reversing

However, he did not reverse enough, so I could not fully back into the lot. I stopped and waved to him to go back more, and he started gesturing, seemingly annoyed why I have to suddenly stop and park. 

Hey dumbass, you tailed me so close, of course the moment I stopped, it will appear sudden to you. KNNBCCB, you stupid or what? Sun to hot and your small brain overheated and stopped processing logic??

I have no patience for such nonsense. I gave him my nice finger and just stared at him. I know it's not nice, but I am also human, and I won't stand down from unreasonable treatment. If he want to escalate matters, I won't stand down since I believe he started this nonsense. After a few seconds of seeing my finger, he reversed. I guess he chickened out, or maybe he suddenly become mature for his age (he is probably mid 60s)

So, how do I feel after this?

well, I am glad I didn't stand down to such bullies. If its a lady driver, a timid driver, or a newbie, he could had forced them to give up the lot. But too bad, he met a retiree who has plenty of time to play punk lol

On the other hand, I feel I should had controlled my temper, by not showing my finger. I should stay calm, but be firm as I am not in the wrong, and just gesture for him to give me space, else I won't move. That would put him in the bad light, and I should not put myself in the same low level as him

So lesson learned, next time stay firm but don't lose temper. I will be better person

Better don't mean weak. 

It means strong and firm and upright and maintain standard. 

To the taxi driver, I apologise for showing you my finger, and I wish you all the best and safe drive as you go about your drive to earn a living. I also want you to stay cool and don't go around bullying other drivers. Your impatience won't land you in a nice place if you meet some crazy person. 

What do I want to be known as

The responsible, loving, caring father, husband and son. That’s all.

This is my North Star 

All my desires and decisions align to this.

Whether it’s how I invest

Whether it’s how much indulgence I go 

I could splurge and buy a Porsche now 

But I don’t. I am not depriving myself. I am aligning to my North Star.

If I spend that Porsche money, i know I’ll have to trade off something else which is important for my North Star 

I must keep aligning to my North Star

Because that’s the meaning of my life

That’s what I want to be remembered for.

Not remembered by anyone, but only those who loved me. 

Needs vs Wants

 I am lucky. My needs (and my dependents’) are more or less met and will continue to be so probably for the rest of our lives (or mine at least). For that I am grateful and thankful 

Now there is a problem, a happy one

It’s actually harder to solve. It’s the fulfillment of wants

Wants are unlimited and unique to each person. Which is why it is the hard problem.

Our needs are pretty universal. Food, water, healthcare, housing.

don't confuse luck with competence

 don't

I was lucky to have some wealth from high growth stocks and a high income job that allowed me to retire in my early 50s. Of course, as I said before, this luck is useless unless I was prepared to grab the opportunities that came into my life. 

But I will not fall into the trap of confusing luck with competence. The element of luck is just that...chance

I am not more competence in investing than the average investor

So I must be humble, which in turns makes me alert to risks