Stand your ground against bullies, but don't become one

 Driving in SG, you will encounter very nice drives, blur ones, but the worst....the nasty and bullies

Encountered a taxi driver today

He drove into HDB open air carpark together with me, with me in front of his car.

From the onset, I noticed he was tailing rather closely (well, I can barely see his headlights from my rear view mirror, so its close yeah)

I know from experience this is going to another jerk driver. So I just drive constant speed of around 15-20kph, certainly a normal speed in carpark, while just ignore him.

However, when I slowed down to park, I noticed he surged forward and to my left, as if he wanted to pass me. WTH

In SG, its very common for cars to reverse into lots as our carparks are tight

So when you follow another car inside a carpark, there's a high chance it will stop and reverse especially there are empty lots. This is common sense. 

So this joker driver decided to tail me, giving me no space should I want to stop and reverse. And then he tried to pass me. Mind you, this is a single lane road with 2 roads of lots for cars.

He had no choice but to reverse to give me space else he won't be able to pass as I already started reversing

However, he did not reverse enough, so I could not fully back into the lot. I stopped and waved to him to go back more, and he started gesturing, seemingly annoyed why I have to suddenly stop and park. 

Hey dumbass, you tailed me so close, of course the moment I stopped, it will appear sudden to you. KNNBCCB, you stupid or what? Sun to hot and your small brain overheated and stopped processing logic??

I have no patience for such nonsense. I gave him my nice finger and just stared at him. I know it's not nice, but I am also human, and I won't stand down from unreasonable treatment. If he want to escalate matters, I won't stand down since I believe he started this nonsense. After a few seconds of seeing my finger, he reversed. I guess he chickened out, or maybe he suddenly become mature for his age (he is probably mid 60s)

So, how do I feel after this?

well, I am glad I didn't stand down to such bullies. If its a lady driver, a timid driver, or a newbie, he could had forced them to give up the lot. But too bad, he met a retiree who has plenty of time to play punk lol

On the other hand, I feel I should had controlled my temper, by not showing my finger. I should stay calm, but be firm as I am not in the wrong, and just gesture for him to give me space, else I won't move. That would put him in the bad light, and I should not put myself in the same low level as him

So lesson learned, next time stay firm but don't lose temper. I will be better person

Better don't mean weak. 

It means strong and firm and upright and maintain standard. 

To the taxi driver, I apologise for showing you my finger, and I wish you all the best and safe drive as you go about your drive to earn a living. I also want you to stay cool and don't go around bullying other drivers. Your impatience won't land you in a nice place if you meet some crazy person. 

What do I want to be known as

The responsible, loving, caring father, husband and son. That’s all.

This is my North Star 

All my desires and decisions align to this.

Whether it’s how I invest

Whether it’s how much indulgence I go 

I could splurge and buy a Porsche now 

But I don’t. I am not depriving myself. I am aligning to my North Star.

If I spend that Porsche money, i know I’ll have to trade off something else which is important for my North Star 

I must keep aligning to my North Star

Because that’s the meaning of my life

That’s what I want to be remembered for.

Not remembered by anyone, but only those who loved me. 

Needs vs Wants

 I am lucky. My needs (and my dependents’) are more or less met and will continue to be so probably for the rest of our lives (or mine at least). For that I am grateful and thankful 

Now there is a problem, a happy one

It’s actually harder to solve. It’s the fulfillment of wants

Wants are unlimited and unique to each person. Which is why it is the hard problem.

Our needs are pretty universal. Food, water, healthcare, housing.

don't confuse luck with competence

 don't

I was lucky to have some wealth from high growth stocks and a high income job that allowed me to retire in my early 50s. Of course, as I said before, this luck is useless unless I was prepared to grab the opportunities that came into my life. 

But I will not fall into the trap of confusing luck with competence. The element of luck is just that...chance

I am not more competence in investing than the average investor

So I must be humble, which in turns makes me alert to risks

Importance of strength and agility

 Had a small incident today while cycling and fell.

Nothing serious, I escaped with just tiny bruises on arm and knee.

No damage to bicycle as well

I can still remember the moment I fell

I was falling off with the bike toward the right 

The bicycle was titling rightward until the tires friction was overcomed by the angle of tilt and the entire bike just slides and I landed on my side. 

Fortunately I held tight to the handle bar and kept them straight so the right handle bar hit the ground first before my body landed, thus significantly reducing the impact on my body. 

I don’t think my head hit the ground. I was wearing my helmet anyway 

I was able to immediately stand up without any issue. 

I think my push arms and exercises helped me. They gave my arms strength to withstand such impact and recover 

Of course having helmet helped to ensure I won’t injure my head

We were not cycling fast but things like that can still happen

So helmet is a must even if it’s a leisure ride in the park !

I think my focus on health and exercise is the right thing to do. 

It can ensure I have a high quality of life 

Peace at home

 Peace at home. Simple but so hard

It’s very important to have peace at home. 

When you have it, your life will be good. You will do well in anything you do. 

To the extent that you soon forget it’s there and how important it is.

I had go through periods where I had no peace at home. What was the consequence?

I lost interest in my job. I forget about things I was supposed to do. I lost the drive to do my work. Why?

To me, due to the lack of peace at home, I can’t give my best to my work. Because, in order to give my best at work, I will need focus and I will need energy. These will be depleted by end of the work day when I go home.

But if there is no peace at home, I know I cannot go home depleted of energy because I will need energy to deal with the issues waiting for me to resolve at home. So that’s why somehow it’s a self preservation mechanism that triggered to ensure I don’t expand all my energy at work before coming home. And if the situation at home becomes more tense, the more I stopped working. 

In fact, it was the reason I first left my job. And it was also partially the reason I left again for final retirement. I simply could not function at work when there is no peace at home

But leaving my job doesn’t suddenly make peace at home. 

However it gives me a chance to deal with it without being eaten up. Without needing to work, I will have pockets of time during each day to decompress and recover from dealing with the issues at home. They won’t be solved but at least I can sustainably deal with them as they show up.

It’s like fighting a battle with a permanent injury. But in between battle at least I can have a recess to rest and apply some lotion and change my dressing for my injury before going back into the cage to battle again. 

How long can I keep this up?

I don’t know.

I wish peace will come and I can then rest. 

Legacy car brands ADs

 News reported that the forever Toyota AD here in SG has to retrench. Obviously this is an outcome of SG love of EVs over the last few years.

With EV chargers seen almost at every carpark these days, it just feels like ICE car owners (and normal hybrids) are punished at carparks, since EVs (and PHEVs) can simply plug in and “park”. Just look at some popular open air carparks like the one outside Nex mall. There are like 6-8 lots converted to EV charging lots. This carpark is always full house but I can always park at the EV lot and charge and go buy my lunch lol.

Anyway, back to the Toyota AD retrenchments

I don’t think this is Toyota’s fault. 

Many of these old timer ADs that own the distribution rights of popular Japanese mass market brands in SG have it good for too long. Due to the price gap with EU cars, plus the perceived reliability of JP cars, brands like Toyota and Honda and Nissan were literally the default choice for most SG buyers. God forbid you go by a VW, Ford, Renault, Opel, even though prices are similar and the cars were more solid and handle better and have better safety features. 

I used to be one such customer, influenced by people around me. Went to Honda, Toyota, Nissan show rooms to check out their popular models. Showrooms of such brands were like mini shopping malls in SG. Packed full of customers. 

The sales people at such brands make a killing every weekend. The customers just queue to buy the cars, so don’t even bother to test drive. 

Well, being the young punk, I wanted to test drive, but I got rejected because they were too busy, along with the sarcastic comment “this car very popular, just buy. Why need to test drive?”. Such was the arrogance 

I was treated with way more respect at the dealers across the road for Ford, Renault etc. They know their cars and they are more than happy to explain and let me test.

Oh, and not to mentioned, the crappy default features we get from those popular brands ADs. Local installed “leather seats”, local installed “head units and speakers”. All BS and all to milk every $ of profit. The Renault Megane was sold with factory leather seats and factory CD radio speakers etc, and it’s $5k cheaper than a Thai made Corolla with some ugly ass low end Kenwood aftermarket head unit that has maybe 3 colors for the tiny screen. Basically ah Beng to the max. 

I am glad the Chinese EVs are here to whack these arrogant old timer ADs. Wake up lah. Customer service is still king. Don’t screw your customers 

There are so many good Toyota models in the world and in Japan, and yet we get the short end. 

The shake up is good. Though who is to say the new king, BYD, won’t evolve to such a crappy thing over time? 

Hahahaha

TOTO dreams

 I am like normal people. I buy Toto and dream of what I would do if I get a windfall of say $5M 😅😁

I only buy the minimum bet each time but this gives me hope and the right to dream hahaha

So what will $5M windfall do?

I will ask wife to retire immediately. I’ll give her $2M to invest in blue chips. This gives her around $100k of cashflow per year, more than sufficient for her normal expenses, since all household expenses will be taken care of by me

I will also deal with all other expenses like meals and holidays and gifts etc. so she can just spend what she has freely. She should already have $1M on her own anyway 

We will go CPF ERS!! 

We will pay off our mortgages 

I will buy a nice condo for mum

I will get a Porsche 911 hahaha

Of course all these must be sustainable 

So I will invest most of the $ to generate a nice cashflow 

Forever 

And live a good life

Do charity 

Learn new things like language 

Go Japan once every month??? Hahahah

Ok dream on until results are out hahahaha

Position of privilege

 Am I? 

I think so.

I have a whole family, good wife, good kids, healthy parent

I have nice roof over our heads

I have a decent car to drive around

I have retired with comfortable financials. Not super rich but decent and comfortable 

It’s a life of privilege that I am in now

Not to show off

Mind you

Mind me

I must mind this. 

I must remind myself what I have is a privilege 

It means majority of people around me aren’t in this position 

No, this is it to compare

But this mindfulness is important

Important that it will form my mannerisms 

While I don’t care what others think, I do care about how my mannerisms affect others.

There will be certain topics that I must be careful of talking about casually or taking it lightly. What’s easy for me now at this privileged position cannot be assumed to be likewise for someone else. I may not mean harm, but I could end up harming

Humility it important 

Not to fake humility

But genuine awareness of others 

Hence it is important that I acknowledge my privilege position so I can behave according to my values and not hurting others unintentionally 

Hope I can remember this

Grateful for the privileges

My car ownership in Singapore

I have always been fascinated by cars. 

When I was a kid, I remember looking out of our family HDB kitchen window and looking at all the cars parked at the open air carpark. I will try to make out the brands and models, and get excited when I see a new one. 

My family circumstances weren’t the worse but we’re also not middle income. Dad drove a Datsun small pick up. It’s a single can design, so most of the time my siblings and I sat at the loading deck. It was fun but not exactly the most comfortable or glamorous way to travel. It’s also dangerous lol

I have a couple of more well to do relatives who could afford brand new cars every few years. I really envy them as a kid. However, I don’t think about buying my own car as I thought it’s impossible.

But I never give up my fascination 

During those years, the straitstimes weekend edition will always have a section dedicated to motoring, where articles relative to cars are published. I especially enjoyed the car reviews, where I would pour over every review like reading a text book lol. I remember all the details 

As I grew up into my late teens and early twenties, I started to read car magazines, from libraries, from my uncle’s stash of old magazines that he gave me. That’s when I learn about many different brands including sports cars like Ferrari and Lamborghini etc. I learned about the engines types, the different suspensions types etc. I also started to pay attention to the list prices of cars printed in the local magazine called Motoring. That’s when I started to know car prices and those stuck with me as I start my working life 

My first step was to get a driving license which I got during my undergraduate days. 

But I never had a chance to drive then.

After working for 3 years, my uncle offered me to buy his used car which was a small tiny hatchback. I did my sums and decided to go for it. My first car!!!

Of course bring the hot blooded young man, I drove without much care and that resulted in a couple of accidents, where I hit other cars. One of the worst was when my car was sandwiched between 2 larger ones, and that caused me whiplash injury. 

Nonetheless, having a cheap ass car as first set of wheels helped me gain experience as a driver and owner. And my ownership of cars started from then until today, 20+ years later, and I am already on my 8th car lol

While it has cost me quite a lot of money to own cars for the last 20 odd years, I don’t regret it. The joy I derived from driving and owning cars became a core experience of my life. Maybe it’s the sense of freedom I enjoyed, on top of some form of self vanity of being able to afford one.

Having a car also immensely made me and my family’s life more comfortable and convenient. Having 2 kids with a car is immensely comfortable. The car acts like a mobile storage, holding supplies haha. Not having to chug a stroller in our hot sun and going up buses and waiting for lifts at MRT stations was a huge plus, both in terms of time saved, energy saved and better quality of life in general. 

Will I continue to drive into my retirement years? Why not?

With time on my hand, a car can do wonders for life enjoyment. I can go anywhere anytime. I can go ECP park to relax and cycle and picnic. I can go meet friends where ever they are. I can run errands easily. I can drive to JB anytime 

So long as the expenses are within my means, I’ll drive. But I will also be responsible to stop driving if age catches up. I don’t want to appear on CNA for crashing or worse causing injury to others because I was too old and senile to drive lol

I still watch YouTube reviews of cars, but I can feel my intensity waning. I think this also has to do with the transition of the industry to EV, and to me, EVs are just appliances. The joy of different mechanical options like engine types, gearboxes are mostly now relegated to top tier or niche sports cars. Most mass market cars will become EV. Every model is more or less the same. It’s just battery, motor and screens. So unless I become very rich to afford things like Porsches or niche sports cars, I feel my interest in cars will slowly fade in coming years. At my age, I will be keen on things I could actually own and experience, vs a kid who dreams of everything out there as a possibility.

That means I have more time lol and I should find other times to feel the car space. Well, my car interest still there, it just slowly decline but don’t think it will go to zero

Please please please. Let me Huat big and I will buy my Porsche 911!!!