pressure cooker for kids

 what's that? for them to cook soup when parents are busy?

No!

Its the pressure cooker education system they are in

No choice one. The system must churn out the best

And therefore, it must rigorously test them to sort them out

I went thru it myself. But without Internet, I was a frog in a well

I know my parents are struggling with providing, so I knew they sacrificed a lot to ensure we go as far as we can in our education path, to have a shot at breaking the cycle.

But without Internet, my comparison circle is rather limited, which ironically, helped.

I have some relatives and friends who are well to do, but not to the extent of the millionaires that we all can watch on social media on our phones now. I also have relatives who are like us, and some who are struggling more than us, but not to the extent of those we see on social media now. 

So its a small circle and a rather narrow spectrum, vs the large range and extremities that our kids are exposed to today.

They can see the top 1% and how they live supposedly, and the bottom 1% too. There is tremendous envy and discouragement looking at those top 1%, while there is also huge fear looking at those bottom 1%. I never faced this as a student. I know if I studied hard and get good grades and go into university, I can have a shot at living a lifestyle like my better to do relatives and friends. It looks achievable. Likewise, I know if I fail, how it would look at. Its not nice, but its not full fear. So there is a motivation to work hard, and a lack of fear of failure that is not like what my kids face today. 

They now compare themselves with the whole world. Its not easy and its something I myself find hard to empathise sometimes. 

But I know why and I must try hard to support them

I have the resources to help them, but its not just money. Its knowledge and experience of this world. I came from before Internet to Internet, so I saw both worlds. So I am in position to assist them in navigating the new world. 

My kids : I will help you. I am sorry you have to be in this phase, but I will help you. 

This is also why I never emphasised on grades for my kids. I don't tell many people about their grades. It lifts pressure off them. But I always tell them how proud I am of their hard work. But I also tell them, its ok to take a rest if you have to, the world has many pathways, not all require A in every subject. not all require you to be a scholar, or from a top university. Life will go on, and you will embrace this journey as I believe you try your best and its enough.

Love you both