Luck in life

When someone is successful in life, be it in specific dimensions like finances or marriage, or a good mix of dimensions, it usually will attract envy of others, and one common refrain will be "you are lucky lah!"

Well, yes and no.

Yes, in that there are always elements of life which you have zero control over whatsoever. This is the element of pure chance. E.g pure chance that you would meet your future wife somewhere in a social setting where you weren't really looking for a date or someone to pick up. Or pure chance of a job opportunity showing up right when you think your current career is over. Pure chance you were born in a certain country, to a certain type of parent.

No,  in that if you didn't/couldn't seize the chance that showed up, nothing happens. If you are in a mental wreck when that dream job opportunity appears, you won't do well in the interview and the job goes to the other guy, right?

So if someone were to comment on your success as "luck", you must always address it on the spot, not to reprimand, but to set the record straight and make it known to that person that such a statement does not accurately nor fairly represent what had happened in your life. 

I will say "Yes, there's definitely a certain degree of pure luck and chance, but I also worked hard to grab them when they showed up...I am thankful for those chances that showed up without my intention, but I am also glad to know I didn't let some of them slipped past me." This isn't to say I am a better person than you, but I want you to be fair to me and respect my efforts that I put in to be successful in areas of my life as you witness today. I also want you to be fair to your own efforts in your life as well, and not simply discount them as "luck", or whine when things don't go your way because you weren't prepared enough to grab those chances. 

Someone who strike $10M in TOTO? Yes, that is almost pure luck, but hey, you still have to put some effort to buy the TOTO ticket right? Anyway, don't put your life success on gambling, the odds of success is extremely so, near zero. I do buy lottery regularly, but I don't spend more than $10 per month on it. It's more of a cheap game of chance entertainment for me.

I wish you good luck :)

rat person 老鼠人

 https://www.scmp.com/news/people-culture/trending-china/article/3305965/china-slang-term-rat-people-those-who-shun-success-attracts-2-billion-views

So another new trend for the youths? Before this, it was "lie flat", "let it rot" etc

What intrigues me is how these are trends people/influencers will show off on social media, which in turn rakes in views and possibly income for them. So it's still a job?

But what about the impact on youths consuming such social media promoting these trends/lifestyles? Are they being conned into something that actually isn't really common place? Really influencers at work lol?

The statistics are quite alarming, with around 10 million new graduates per year pouring into the Chinese job market, and youth unemployment around 15-20%. Those 15-20% will be under a lot of pressure for sure, as I can imagine armed with a degree and yet not being gainfully employed to earn income and accumulate working experience, and before you know it, one year has passed and another 10M fresh graduates are out competing with you for jobs, and they are 1 year younger than you, yet you don't have any advantage over them since you have not been working. I can imagine it being a gloomy situation. 

However, for those who are working, I feel the Chinese DNA of extreme hardworking, string work ethics, will bring them far ahead in life. I don't think Chinese economy will be like this forever, so there is hope. 

Just hope that all these trends of seemingly giving up your aspirations do not take root too deep and become entrenched and cause impediment for the economy. If the market becomes really bad, you will also find it impossible to slack and lie flat right? How low can you go? How much lesser can you eat? 

having a purpose in life

 Now, this is an easy question to ask yourself or someone, but it's very hard to answer.

Of course you can give standard textbook answers, those which are socially acceptable, easy for others to understand, maybe as a way to deflect the pressure and reality away from yourself so you can go back to going about your daily hustle.

But when you reach a certain age, having achieved several major milestones in your life : courtship, married, career, kids...

Plus as you age, you start to see and experience in real life 生老病死 , your perspective will definitely change. Of course there are people who somehow can live for long time without experience all of these, but I wouldn't want that for myself. Life is a journey to be savoured.

So why is it important to have a purpose in life?

this importance didn't show up to me until recent years. Before that, my mind was consumed by hustling, dealing with work and family commitments. It's only when I started to slow down, due to both age, as well as stability in work, family and finances, that I started to have more contemplative thoughts about my life and my purpose. 

TBH, I don't really know my purpose yet, but I think I could be close. 

What's important to me is that I can be a good provider to those I loved, including myself. I think I am doing ok there. 

Next, I cherish freedom a lot. Freedom from chores, freedom from routines that don't make sense to me. 

But in that case, what is my purpose? Just to provide food, lodging, education? lol

For now, I think I can say my purpose in life is to live my life fully while I am well. Yes, it's lame perhaps, but don't laugh, it's quite a good purpose IMHO. Maybe yours is to fix the world, cure cancer, eradicate aging, go to Mars to set up base. But I don't have such noble or specific purpose (yet), so I'll do what's best next, which is to live my life with intent, savour the beauty of things around me, the company of people I love, the smell and touch of my lovely partner. Even simple task like folding laundry, I do it properly now, with some OCD to ensure everything is folded nicely and not in a mess or in sloppy manner. It may seem trivial, but it gives me a sense of satisfaction too.

What is your purpose in life?

Pathless path

Completed reading this book recently.

Rather easy to read since it's pointing to a single simple concept/idea, but I liked it nonetheless as it resonates with what I think most people will experience in their life. 

Most of us has a template to follow in life, especially in Singapore. Parents set the path, the school system is singular and rather rigid, and if you decide to take a different route, there will be immense scrutiny and outside pressure to prove them wrong. 

Frankly, so what if you are wrong? It's your own life and you bear the consequences right? I think once you hit adult age, you should own your own path. 

Yes, the default path is well designed, proven for most people and you can just auto-pilot your way in it. Uncle did that too, up to a stage. 

I didn't pick a career that aligned properly with what I major for in NUS. But at least it's not too far off. Still, I had to start from zero in my first job, with almost 90% of the stuff I studied for being not relevant. 

Then, I resigned from a stable job, one that I just got promoted for, and joined an American MNC, which although was more prestigious and huge, was also well known for ruthless lay offs and re-orgs. I recalled my director (my manager's boss) giving me a face when I went to see him after I tendered. He wasn't happy at all. He seemed pissed that I would just tender resignation right after "he fought" for my promotion. Come on man, I also worked my ass off in the past 1-2 years to earn it. All he did was to approve it. What's so hard about that? It's as if I owe him a favour. I see it that he owe me one for working diligently so that his seat is safe! Anyway, I apologised if I digress here lol. Not a fan of this person I would say. (imagine someone telling you "working hard" is an expectation, so you cannot put it in your self review.While true, its also very rude)

Anyway, my point is, I didn't follow what most of my peers were doing, which is to secure a stable job and stick with it. Don't rock the boat, don't go somewhere where you could be harshly treated and fired/laid off anytime. And, I just got married, bought a new HDB, and got a car too. 

But, I wanted to see the world, and while I enjoyed the first job and the peers were really good to work with, the company simply don't have the scope and runway I was looking for. So when the MNC opportunity came, (I had to go through 7 rounds of interviews), offer was really good (a 70% pay jump with sign on bonus too), it was a no brainer for me. And, my manager, he was sad to see me go, but he was genuinely happy for me as he felt there is a bigger world waiting for me out there. He was the best mentor I have in my career so far. 

The MNC role was unique, because I was the only one in the team who was located in Singapore office. I could literally work from home all the time if I wanted to since I don't have anyone I work with in the office, except for a PM and some site folks. I spent a good 9 years there, and survived 3 rounds of layoffs lol. And I had 7 or 8 managers, so the re-org thing was real lol.

This role opened my view, as I got to work with people all over the world. US, Europe, China, HK, Japan etc. It was exciting, rewarding, stressful, but fun and enriching. That it also paid well was a bonus of course. 

And then I decided to jump ship to a start up, which is a huge leap of faith, given how risky it could be if things don't work out. But I knew my skills were immensely valued by them and I could make an impact, so heck it, I went ahead. It was another win, I got lucky. Team was good, they treated me very well, respected me, allowed me to work from home all the time, and I could travel if I want. It also paid more handsomely than my previous job, so that was sweet. 

I think while I could still be considered mostly on a default path, the experiences I had were unique to me and I wouldn't want it another way if I looked back now. It was awesome. And then I also experienced a layoff where I was impacted! That caps the experience!! nice! 

Now I am really on pathless path, I have no reference and I feel naked sometimes. But like the author, I should have faith as I forge a way forward. 

The joy of freedom

As a parent with young school going children, you want to be there for them all the time, being available when they need help, guidance, company etc. You also want to not miss major milestones, achievements, celebrations as they grow up. 

This by itself is a luxury that not many parent can afford in Singapore. With most families having both parents working full time, what happens to their kids?

When they are very very young (below school age), there's full day childcare, either with professionals or with extended family help.

When they start going to school (primary, secondary), there's after school student care options, or someone could be at home (a grandparent), or a live-in domestic helper, or maybe even just the kids will be home alone after school and before parents leave office. 

Then when you finally got vacation leave approved, maybe for 7-10 days a stretch, you plan efficiently for your family overseas trip, squeezing as much itinerary as you can possibly afford to, both time and money wise. But you probably don't enjoy the break. It's like a compression of everything you wanted to do, a big rush, a major hustle, not very different from your day job. Its ironic. 

Things could had been better in past few years due to WFH possibilities forced by Covid. But WFH is gradually and surely being pulled away, with most companies starting to mandate 3 days or more in office, and I suspect, full time back in office soon. There are lesser parked cars in my apartment during weekday day time in 2025 vs 2024/23. That's the reason

Now, imagine you had lived a life in last 20 years or so, gainfully employed but allowed to fully work from home as a remote worker, with the occasional travel overseas for 1 week or so, 3-4 times a year. This is huge. It means, you literally are present to your kids all the time! You see all their milestones, you get to pick them up after school, where you either see kids being picked up by grandparents, domestic helpers most of the time. Your kid won't know the privilege given his/her young age, but you definitely feel it yourself. It is magic for a parent do be able to do that. 

This was my life while I was working in past 20 years. I am hugely cognisant of how fortunate I was to be in such a situation. Zero regrets to be able to do something like this period of my life. I continue to enjoy this freedom, in fact even more now, given I no longer have to work. It's icing on the cake. No more work commitments, stresses. Just freedom to continue to be there for my kids and family, PLUS having all these free time to use while they are at school/work. I had felt the freedom of living unstructured time periods, experience spontaneous decisions to do something, go somewhere. I have tasted honey, honey that is out of reach for many others. I am grateful. 

This joy of freedom comes with a price, which is lesser financial means for future. But tomorrow isn't guaranteed, as they say. So when is it enough to start enjoying this joy of freedom? 

This is a very hard decision. I always see myself as a provider kind of person. So my constant worry is whether I can provide, for my wife, myself, my kids and my parent. If I made a wrong decision, I will be very upset and disappointed. It's like falling just 10 meters before finishing line of a 42km marathon, because I decided to sprint towards it, but my legs were actually jello. 

Still, this joy that I had and continue to enjoy, its too attractive and seductive. It's like winning the game in life. 

Income tax YA 2025

 Forgot to post this. Not for showing off, but as a record for myself in future

this roughly translates to a monthly repayment of just over $4k, which is about 25% lower than before. 

Certainly welcomed, as it means less cash outflow per month. The reduction is simply due to Uncle not working the full 12 months in year 2024.

If Uncle do not secure a job in 2025, than the YA 2026 will be pretty....$0 tax LOL

Was it grief?

 Just came to my mind so I'll pen it down here now

Looking back to the first 6 months after quitting my job...

I think I was actually grieving, without knowing that it was that. Grieving about the loss of a job that I enjoyed, a job that I was excellent at, a job that provided company of good co-workers. A job that paid well was obvious, but surprisingly wasn't a reason for the grief at all. That loss of steady income was a stressor, not a grievance. 

I am done with it? I think so, and I am glad to have experienced it and I believe I came out of it a better person. I am glad I gave myself space and time for it, and didn't ignore it and just went ahead to pursue whatever I thought I should to fill up my time and space that were freed up after quitting. 

One key aspect was my focus on exercising, my time spent with my brothers, chatting about my feelings, chatting about things in life, as we are all about same age and have similar aspirations. I am really grateful to them for spending time with me during this difficult but important period of my life. I couldn't had done it without their support. Really appreciate it bros!

Should I go full retire mode?

 At a potential crossroad here...

Likely will be offered a job soon, assuming they can match my asking, should I take it up?

Pro:

- will have positive cashflow of close to $10k pm with job

- this will help me save $100k per year, which is going to help me grow a fatter retirement fund

- the company is growing and is modern, so this will be a plus to my career

Con:

- Cannot work from home. What if my hours are long?

- Starting it right now means I will not be around for major exam preparation for my kiddo coming up in Sep/Oct. I wonder what would be the impact

- Losing my free time to do exercise, to take care of my health, to be there for family

What about my own gut feel of things?

I think the job will be exciting, primarily of the different culture and environment, though I will be still in same line of work as before. But I also have doubts about my own energy level to keep up. 

Also, my motivation may not be strong. 

My priority now is mental and physical health, spending time with my loved ones. And freedom.

Also, starting work in 2025 wasn't in my plan. But of course opportunities don't always present at the best time based on my schedule lol.

I just don't want to regret making sacrifices for this job. 

At this age, and with quite certainty of being able to sustain myself and family without a job, taking on this for extra $$ could be a gamble that may not pay off.

How how how??

It's a good problem to have, but it's also a big headache. 

Uncle needs to think about it more....

Thoughts about completely paying off mortgage of your home

So, this came to uncle's mind recently. I stopped working for many months already, and I still have outstanding mortgage on my home. While I could liquidate a large chunk of my assets to completely pay off and own my home, I chose not to do it. Why?

1. The rates are still reasonable low compared with what I can get from my investments

2. Having liquid cash/cash-equivalent provides a lot of flexibility vs having a lot of money locked into the walls of the roof over your/your family's heads. As long as you keep up with the mortgage payments, you won't lose your home. 

3. Should you decided to change to a different home, you may not qualify for a new mortgage since you have no steady employment income, so you may need the cash to pay off upfront for the next home, and then sell off your current one to get back some money. 

4. You can't even refinance your existing mortgage with a different bank as they will require proof of income. 

So, Uncle simply reprice my current mortgage with same bank to new rate when it went out of lock-in period. While this means I will continue to need to pay mortgage every month, I retain my investments and allow them to compound. Anything that goes into mortgage payment, I don't see it as expense, but as part of adding equity to my home, which I can get back when I sell it. There is no real need to pay of the entire loan, unless rates shoot up to crazy levels, which is very unlikely. 

Fortunately, I expect my current apartment to continue to increase in market value over next 3-4 years, and this coupled with the already paid up equity so far, I am potentially able to sell it in 4 years time and get back at least $1.4M of my money. 

Things are very fluid when you have leverage (mortgage). Once you close that opportunity of leverage, it becomes very inflexible and limits what you can do with your finances. it's not just about how much you have in total, but how they are managed. The worst scenario I like to avoid is to be "stuck" and then forced to liquidate things at the worst time/prices. 

Yes, I used to think like many others, who always say "pay off your home loan, you no longer worry about your roof, and you have peaceful days!". BUT seriously, is it?

What if you have a full paid home, but you have very little cashflow (e.g. loss of job, and no investments to generate cashflow)? You are staying in your home, so it doesn't generate cash for you! So what do you do? Sell your home? How does that work? Do you then go rent a place, incur expenses of moving, and probably sell your home at sub-optimal price? Trust me, when shit happens, it all happens at same time. E.g. economy is bad, you lose job/income, and property prices all fell also. So you sell your home at the lowest price, losing out potential higher profits, and then get gouged by landlords on rent. Plus, you incur costs of moving, and also created instability for the family/kids by moving around. Your landlord could raise rent after 1-2 years, and you have to move again. You call this "peaceful" days? Is this what you "gain" by using up large chunks of your cash to pay off your home?

I think this thinking has to change. Rates are low and make use of it. 

Close to 10 months of not working...status

 Do I enjoy it? 

Of course!!

I exercise a lot more frequently now, doing more reps for chin up, pull up, leg raises. Clocking more steps and cycling longer distances. 

And I am eating well and sleeping well.

Life has been good to me. 

If you have been working non-stop for 15 years or more, slogging for your money and building up your family, if you can afford to, I stronger suggest taking a break of at least 6 months and do nothing. Just live your life. But make sure you have things lined up, friends to talk to and hang out regularly, as it certainly helps to keep your mind active and not end up rotting away. Trust me, unless you are filthy rich already, this will always feel scary initially. Scared that all the property and equity markets will crash and wipe your assets off the surface of the Earth. Scared that you will lose confidence as a person as your job has almost become your identity and image. 

But don't be. Because it is exactly such perceived fears that will prevent you from experiencing something different. We only live once, and time waits for no one. 

Yes, it's prudent to worry about things so that you can be prepared. But, you can NEVER be 100% covered. So you have to set a threshold on what is considered sufficient readiness and just go forward. What is the worse that can happen? What is the probability of that? it will be non-zero, but it will almost not be high like 20% or more. Just like someone who always worry about getting cancer, and spending all his money on insurance premiums, getting slammed by the premiums, become stressed out of the premiums, and not living your life and not enjoying your moments. It's tragic and I feel I will sure regret such a mentality when I am near end of life. 

I do have possibly of re-entering the workforce soon, but ironically, I am hesitant to forgo my good life in the last 9-10 months. I will miss my leisure morning breakfast, where I take my time to prepare and consume and think about my life and plans for the day. I will miss my random kopi sessions with friends whenever they are free, since I am always free lol. I will miss the opportunity to just change and go for a long walk in the trails, get fresh air, get sun. All these flexibility will be missed if I go back to an office job. 

So the job must be damn attractive to make me give this lifestyle up. Even then, I don't see me working more than 2.5 years before calling it quits on working life and permanently retire and enjoy my remaining runway. I won't be super rich in terms of material things, but I will life a rich life, a life rich with experiences, memories, joys, moments, freedom.