The cycle of life

 Which phase of this cycle are you on?

Just born into this world?

Growing up and enjoying carefree childhood?

Getting educated be ready for the world?

Completed education and going to make your mark in this world?

Found a partner and settled down?

Got a home and started to have babies?

Kids growing up and driving you mad?

Getting worried about losing your job?

Lost your job?

Getting ready to retire?

Watching your kids become parents and growing old?

Having more and more health issues due to old age?

Suddenly found you have a terminal condition like cancer?

Going though physical pain and mental torture as you go through treatment and having a view of end of tunnel?

Personally, that last phase is scary to me, but I know it will be inevitable. Key is to live a full life the way I want it before I hit this last phase, so I can tell myself by then "no regrets! this is it, last leg liao, but I have done most if not all the things I need. Awesome life. Just have to grind through this last phase, hopefully with minimum pain and suffering."

Some things can't be fixed, so what?

As men, we are pre-programmed to fix things when they are (or appear to be) broken. This can range from the leaky tap, the poor Wifi coverage in the apartment, but can also be relationships.

I think this program allows us to shine as providers and protectors, ensuring the home is safe to live in, the car is safe to commute in, the fridge keeps the food from going bad, the washing machine able to keep our clothes clean etc. 

However, certain things can't be fixed, as they are beyond our control (even if we naively think otherwise). And that is what stresses men out. A lot.

And most of the time, these things are tied to relationships. It could be the bad vibes between your wife and your parents. Or that between you and your in-laws. We tend to want to "fix" these things, but end of day, recognising these are not fixable is the key to living a happier life, at least for yourself. 

Being able to do that will also likely allow you to be happier no matter how your children turn out as they grow into adults and have their own families. You don't have to fix certain things. 

So what if your wife seem to hate your parents? So what if you feel your in-laws doesn't really care or trust you? It's entirely up to yourself to decide how to deal with it, and dealing with it doesn't mean fixing it and making the relationship "perfect". There's no such thing. Even you and your own parents will fight and disagree, what more someone who isn't raised by them (your wife to your parent, or you to your in-laws). It doesn't mean they don't love them, it just means the love won't develop to the same level as what you think it will be, but it doesn't have to be fixed. Of course, if the relationship has broken down to the extent of being hostile, that's a totally different situation. But small hiccups and disagreement, and even general coldness is actually ok. Don't force it, and don't be too bothered by it. Don't react negatively immediately to what's being said or done in the heat of moment. Everyone has emotions and will say wrong things sooner or later, and it's better to play it down and extinguish it with peace and understanding instead of fighting all the time. The anger of fighting doesn't make it better, it just makes things worse. If you can't fix it, at least don't make it worse, make sense? lol

Of course, you must draw lines that if crossed, you stand up and defend that line. But that line should be for something very serious, like physical attacks, or insidious thoughts, or pure disrespect that is unacceptable. Most of the time, I feel its just harmless rants, which if played down, will not grow into worse things. 

May peace be with you

staying on track in life - some tips

 As we grow into adulthood and beyond, life naturally becomes more complex, no matter how you look at it. Your job becomes more complicated, demanding and stressful as your income grows. You have more things to deal with at home, kids growing up, grinding for stressful exams, spouse also needing more attention due to work stress and health, aging parents needed extra care, peers/friends having more complex issues in their own lives. 

How to stray on track and stay sane?

I feel we should keep life as simple as possible. Only when things are as simple as they can be, will they be manageable to some extent. 

If you and your spouse are aligned and loving, then be 100% committed to each other, and be absolutely defensive of your commitments to each other, giving zero chance for others to step in. The only lust you have is for each other, no one else. Of course objectively, there will be nicer bodies, more sexy people out that whom may seem interested in you or look very available and easy to fall in love with. But ask yourself, is that even called love? Your wife is the one who went through childbirth to give you children. She lives with you, she sees everything you do. Your best and worst sides are seen by her and she is still in love with you and committed to you. No one outside will do that for you. They just want to have fun with your best side, your fun side, with your resources that were accumulated as a result of you having a loving partner and home as motivation. Once you resources are depleted, you will no longer be interesting to others. They will hunt another target. There are such people. So keep it simple, stay committed and dedicated to your spouse. This is simple instruction to follow isn't it? Not east to follow, but simple. And it keeps your life simple, because you only have to deal with 1 person, and there are no lies, no hiding, no guilt. You can stand tall and do other things in life with confidence. This adds to your success, sustainable success. 

If you have children, stay committed to provide for them. This simple rule then drives all your financial and career decisions, and also drives your decisions to take care of yourself. 

If you have aging parents, start committed to provide for them as they go into golden years and live out their remaining lives. You owe them this, but you also don't have to give up everything for them. This will let you live peacefully, and also age peacefully without regrets when they pass on. That peace is priceless.

Last thing : strive to live your best life for yourself. Enjoy it. No need to be paiseh. You want something, go for it. (of course it must not hurt someone and it must not be illegal lah!). Want to try a new food or diet, sure! Want to pick up new form of exercise routine, sure! Want to have a new hair style, sure! Want to try a new bed activity position, sure! lol

See? There is no need to over complicate your life, which is already complicated and complex by itself as it goes along. Stay simple, and it drives focus and clarity, and you can handle anything. And this flywheel comes back to help you stay focus and have clarity, and it repeats and reinforces itself. 

Wishing everyone a good life.

SG stock portfolio status Aug 2025

Not too bad. STI ATH, so naturally this feels good. I just don't want it to go up too fast, since that's going to run ahead of the fundamentals and crash later. 

Total S$1,302,053 as of 11 Aug 2025

Being number 1

In our competitive society, there is always ranking. It's not just the gold/silver/bronze medals ranks during sports day. It's about the academic ranking in schools. Who are the top 3 in class. Who are the top 10 in the entire school for this level etc.

Personally, I don't have any aversion to such rankings. It's something to work towards and focus your efforts on. I was lucky to do well in studies and thus had the joy of being in top 3, top 10 rankings in my school years for many occasions. Likewise for some running events, where I managed to go into top 10 in 2 years during my secondary years.

However, I never experienced being ranked number 1. Yes, number Uno. 

Now thinking back to these yesteryears of chasing rankings, I just realised I never got to 1 before. Now, is that important? Maybe, maybe not.  But I wonder how it would had felt, or more importantly, what impact it would had on my life if I had hit the top spot a few times. 

Would it be a lonely thing? Would I become arrogant? Would I lose the drive?

Or is it that important in the first place? 

At current age of 50s, I still want to be number 1, but in a very different way.

I want to be number 1 in how I live my own life. On my terms. Not something ranked against what others expect me to do. Well, what is good or bad definitely takes some form of reference to what others are doing, but being number 1 in your own life must always be on your own terms. Not some arbitrary metric score defined by some strangers.

So how do I get number 1 in life?

List out what is important to me as a person. As a husband, father, son, brother, friend, colleague. As an individual.

Be ready to adjust as I go along this journey, but be very steadfast in motion, and mission. Do not give up, do not settle, but be reasonable and be kind to myself as well. 

There isn't a set amount of money that I must have in my bank accounts, or the set size of my apartment. 

I must reach a stage where I am contented with what I have, while still being excited about life and still have to put effort to hit targets that have meaning for me, or at least, help me grow and be active while doing it. 

Life is meant to be savoured, tasted, experienced in all its glory. Never limit yourself based on what others expect you to do. But always be upright, honest, and have tons of integrity. That is number 1. And that is the most wonderful feeling I believe I can get in this life. 

aging well

At 50s, aging is a real thing for uncle. This manifested daily as running out of energy as the day goes on, taking longer time to recover from sprains, muscle aches, cough, etc. Your body is struggling to keep up with life. 

Hence we must be intentional in how we live our life. This includes choice of diet, discipline in exercising, resting well, getting enough sleep, limiting mindless scrolling on phone, and so on. 

Health is the number focus at this point in our life, even if you are still struggling financially. If you are already barely making ends meet, failure to take care of your health will just create a disproportionately large impact on your financial situation. Staying healthy doesn't have to cost much. Waking up 1hr earlier to start your day so you can do some exercises and eat a hearty breakfast isn't going to make a dent on your bank account, but will sure prevent a large crater later. 

Uncle runs/walk/cycling almost every other day, and includes strength exercises like chin ups, leg curls, push ups, grip training. It's not going to make me a muscle man, but it makes me feel stronger, better and also mentally more sound and in better mood. 

It is also important to nourish our mind, by reading up on news, books and learning new things instead of mindless browsing and video watching. Even spending an afternoon to drink kopi with good friends does wonders for your mental health, unless that friend is mental lol.

Anyway, that's all for this post, wishing all uncles and aunties a good weekend, and a fine journey in aging! 

capacity to act and high state of awareness

 was reading some self help book recently (yeah, I like such books lol)

The author said something that resonated with me. In order to be successful, you need to develop 2 things:

1. The ability or capacity to take action

2. Maintain a state of awareness

This is a more detailed breakdown of preparedness meeting opportunities (which is something you can do to increase your "luck"). This is the "preparedness" part.

When opportunities come by in your life, you need the ability to act on it, and that's only after you are aware of it being presented in your face. 

I live by this motto all the time. Don't whine when you didn't put in effort to develop your abilities to act, don't whine when you are coasting all the time in life, without opening your eyes, ears, thoughts to what's going on in your life. 

Why the craze of moving to live in Japan?

 Given the advanced economy of Japan and the high standards of living, buying a home there is surprisingly inexpensive compared to places like Singapore and Hong Kong. No wonder I keep seeing YouTube videos recently of people moving there to settle down, mostly to retire or do some laid back work to gain residency status.

There’s even this chap from SG who vlog his relocation of him and his wife and young kids to Japan. 

Why?

I do enjoy visiting Japan. It’s clean, safe and convenient. And food is good and suits my palate. But I am still not into their culture and norms, as I find it very rigid and intimidating, at least on the surface. I am sure if these are peeled off, they are not much different from us in Singapore. There will be ugly sides. Just that in Singapore, we don’t hide it as well haha.

But I can imagine living a very nice life there as a retiree. You won’t have to deal with corporate Japan, or general work culture there. You just enjoy the fruits of their hardwork and high quality outputs by paying your way through them. 

With about $700k SGD, one can get a decent 500sqft single bed apartment there at prime locations in Tokyo or Osaka, smacked right next to major JR stations. Of course there will be other upkeep costs but I don’t think those will be sky high. 

So imagine having such an apartment to your name, and you can just take a backpack and fly over whenever you want, using one go the various budget airlines (you won’t need check in luggage since your stuff are all in your apartment!), and spend up to 3 months each time there without requiring special residency status. You can experience the seasons (except the hot summer which Singapore can give you anytime). And you don’t have to hustle to hotels. You can even whip a simple meal in your apartment if you want. 

This sounds really enticing for a retirement plan. 

So what’s the catch?

TBH, I don’t know yet but I’ll find out. I can imagine the apartment will be a sunken cost, without expectation of appreciate in value over time. It won’t go to zero but it will definitely be a loss when it’s time to sell. Another concern is the issue of upkeeping it. But I think a small 500sqft apartment should be easy to clean and maintain. 

Say you spend 180 days per year. If it’s a hotel, say $200 per night, that’s $36,000 per year. So you will break even after 14 years, that’s quite a long time to break even. But as said, your apartment value don’t go to zero when selling. So break even time should be lesser at say 7-8 years. After that, it starts to pay.

Question is if you will get sick of staying in Japan for so long. You must have plans to travel out to see places. Or you really have something to do there each time you stay for 3 months. Like attending a class or doing some project (working from home in Japan?!)

Alas, this is an expensive journey, taking a chunk of funds meant for retirement. But it’s an option, made possible by cheap flights and inexpensive property prices there. And weak yen. 

clarity on your goals when working for someone

Now, this isn't about organisational goals or KPIs, but your private, personal goals.

Goals that you or your boss set for your job, those are the easy pieces, it's all about faster, cheaper, better, not for you, but for the company :)

Most employees will align their efforts towards such goals in order to meet targets and get their performance reviews in order.

The more difficult, and yet, often neglected goals are those for yourself as a person. Your own private goals, that you probably will not share with anyone in the office, except for very close friends and family members. 

I am talking about the answers to these questions:

1. Why I am in this job?

2. How long do I want to stay in this job?

3. How will this job help me in my financial objectives?

4. How much personal sacrifices am I willing to make for this job?

These are very important questions. You must have crystal clear clarity on these things while you hustle daily in your job, else you will be running around like a headless chicken. And who benefits from your ignorance/neglect of your own life goals, where you don't draw lines? Your boss and the company. He/she will get his/her promotions, bonus that allow him/her to hit his/her own life goals (if they have one), while the company will do well and enrich the owners/shareholders. Maybe you'll gets scraps, leftover budget for bonus and raises, distributed in some "fair" way among you and your peers in the team.

Remember, NO ONE is indispensable in the company. Even the founder/CEO can go missing and things will continue, and a replacement CEO will be found shortly. Assigning self-importance is good, as we all want to have a sense of responsibility as a good worker. But too much of it, and you will over sacrifice for nothing extra in return. We all work for money, let's be honest. To someone who tells me "I love my job! The money is secondary!",  I will always ask them : So will you work in this job for free??

So, if you are on vacation, please don't work, unless the company is going bankrupt and you are called in to fix some emergency. Likewise, if you are very sick and need to rest/sleep, get well before starting to work again. No one will appreciate you losing your health for work. No one will call you a hero (maybe they will say you are one, but inside, nope). Those who have clarity on their life, they will laugh at you inside, and use you as a reminder for themselves why they are on the right path, and why they must not do what you are doing to yourself. 

Yes, we all have to hustle like mad as we build careers, even Uncle also did that when I just started working. In fact, I hustled for 20+ years!

BUT, even from my first job, Uncle always put time aside to exercise 2-3 times week, mostly jogging. Uncle also don't take sugary drinks, preferring to just drink lots of water. Not much alcohol and no smoking. My health is as important as my work, if not more. If Uncle has to work overnight, I will ensure I take the time off for it, to rest (not to go shopping). This is the key : sustainability. No point burning out, or being super unhealthy. If you are sick and cannot recover well, you will be using up your money for medical bills, and it comes back full circle, no money, no health. It's very not worth it. So what if you can eat fancy food, drive fancy cars, go for nice holidays, live in nice apartments, when you are in poor health?

So please, please please, be very clear on what you want out of your job, and use that to guide your decisions, on how to spend your time and health. 

rat race, who are the competitors?

All of us heard about the term "rat race". Basically, it's a metaphor for being in pursuit of power and money, which in reality, is never ending. 

Why never ending?

Because the allure of the supposedly comforts that power and money will provide, so the more the merrier right? And hence, the rat race never ends. There is no finishing line unfortunately. You just keep running until you can't run anymore, maybe due to injury or worse, death from exhaustion.

Are you competing with anyone in this race? Absolutely. But I think, these competitors are only living in your own head. No one will openly say they are competing with you. So someone you think you are competing with, may in fact be someone who don't really care about how fast you are relatively. 

In this modern capitalist world, most adults are in the rat race. There will be some who knows and hate the race, and have clear plans laid out to allow them to leave the race intact. Think FIRE movement. There will be others who have no plans laid out to exit the race. They could be barely getting by with survival and have no bandwidth to think about exit plans. I feel sorry for this group. Then, there are some who have bandwidth to plan an exit, but are so bought into the system that they feel this is their life, and their mission is to grab as much as they can until whatever the government of the day says is the official retirement age. They feel obligated to work. These are the rats that the authorities and rich love; they are hardworking, productive, and they don't take care of themselves, putting the race above everything else, even their own happiness and health and life. If I am a rich land owner, business owner, I'll love these rats. I can enjoy my life while the cash flows into my pockets due to their hardworking mentality and sacrifices. 

Unless one is born into privileges, being a rat in this race is inevitable. But the exit can usually be planned out, except for extreme cases of really bad luck at birth lottery. When given a chance to plan exit from the race, please grab it. Don't waste the time and your life. You only live once. 

Everyone is different, and thus the exit plans will also be different. Typically, we plan for exit (stop working) when we have accumulated sufficient resources to sustain our life without earned employment income/active business management income. The key is "sufficient". What is sufficient to you is determined by you, not outsiders. Work out your sums, be realistic on what you want/need, what you can earn, what is your expected lifespan, and set that threshold and go from there.

Uncle thinks he has reached that level, took a break, build fitness and mental wellness focused lifestyle, and now have options. Options to continue retirement, or to go back to the race, but on my terms mostly. What terms? Reasonable stress levels, meaningful work, and clarity on when to stop. Such terms can only surface up when you have determined you reached your sufficient threshold, so you no longer fear. Fear of not bending backwards enough to please the company, the bosses, the managers. 

May you enlighten up and start your exit plan. Exit the race intentionally, and not be forced to exit at the worst possible time.