Peace at home

 Peace at home. Simple but so hard

It’s very important to have peace at home. 

When you have it, your life will be good. You will do well in anything you do. 

To the extent that you soon forget it’s there and how important it is.

I had go through periods where I had no peace at home. What was the consequence?

I lost interest in my job. I forget about things I was supposed to do. I lost the drive to do my work. Why?

To me, due to the lack of peace at home, I can’t give my best to my work. Because, in order to give my best at work, I will need focus and I will need energy. These will be depleted by end of the work day when I go home.

But if there is no peace at home, I know I cannot go home depleted of energy because I will need energy to deal with the issues waiting for me to resolve at home. So that’s why somehow it’s a self preservation mechanism that triggered to ensure I don’t expand all my energy at work before coming home. And if the situation at home becomes more tense, the more I stopped working. 

In fact, it was the reason I first left my job. And it was also partially the reason I left again for final retirement. I simply could not function at work when there is no peace at home

But leaving my job doesn’t suddenly make peace at home. 

However it gives me a chance to deal with it without being eaten up. Without needing to work, I will have pockets of time during each day to decompress and recover from dealing with the issues at home. They won’t be solved but at least I can sustainably deal with them as they show up.

It’s like fighting a battle with a permanent injury. But in between battle at least I can have a recess to rest and apply some lotion and change my dressing for my injury before going back into the cage to battle again. 

How long can I keep this up?

I don’t know.

I wish peace will come and I can then rest.