To all those still grinding

 Not to those who have no choice or are unfortunately too lowly paid to consider any options

But to those who are already in their late 40s and well established and have enjoyed high income for at least 15years. 

What drives you?

Are you looking for a way to stop working and smell life?

Everyone puts on a mask.

“I enjoy building this!”

“I love my team mates”

“Can’t wait to embark on this journey with company ABC!”

All these masked posts in LinkedIn, FB etc. really?

You celebrate your freedom or loss of freedom?

I do that too myself. We put a mask on to hide our dissatisfaction and to endure things. So that we can give a finger later.

When will that be?

Will it be too late? Or perhaps never come and we get the finger by the company instead when we are too old, too sick, too slow?

If you are like me, awaken since witnessing the first team reorganization and layoffs? And started building a life towards not working for decades and decade and being a slave, good for you! Wish you success and you better wish me too lol

To those not, please take time to think and plan. That extra hour put in, that time lost that made you miss a family gathering, a birthday, a school play. They are irreplaceable. Irreversible. They are a black mark. Permanent ink. Think of your loved ones. Those who look at you and wonder “when is it enough? How much more work do you want to do? Why can’t you slow down? I don’t need more fancy presents, I want your attention.”

I am fucking lucky in my career. I was already enjoying remote work and work from home when my first child was born. I was there at home everyday from the day she was brought into this world. I cuddle her every day. I witnessed all her milestones. I am there when she gets off the bus. To listen to her stories of her time spent. To endure her tantrums. And then second kid comes. I am fully 100% WFH. Same deal for this kid. Daddy is always at home. They have no experience of seeing me go office except when I have to travel to HQ for team meetings. They just know I will be around. I am so lucky to experience this. It’s unique and not every working dad here can do that. Well, some actually told me the prefer to go work in office. Really? Really? Well good luck to you. You are spending hours toiling while your boss goes home early for family time. Think about that. 

And now, I think I have sufficient resources to let my kids have a good education wherever they want and whatever they want. I don’t spoil them, but I’ll support their hardwork. And that I am grateful for. To have resources.

And not just to provide for my dependents, but to also ensure I can deal with my retirement and my wife’s without burdening my adult kids. 

This will be my ultimate legacy. 

And I hope my kids will do same for theirs if they start a family. No more sandwich class. No more lifetime of hardwork and regrets. More time to listen to music, read books, enjoy good company. Good coffee and good food. And be a good person in general. 

So, when should I retire? Let me think ….

Freedom or restrictions

 Working includes restrictions imposed on how you use your waking hours, in return for freedom in future.

But what if you already have tasted freedom and could continue to do so? 

Would you want to be restricted again? 

Yes if you have a goal. You must be fucking clear minded and locked in to that goal. Don’t get lost in the grind and become a slave again.

Also, what is freedom?

Not working doesn’t automatically gives freedom. It could impose a different and even harsher form of restriction. You may have time, but you can’t enjoy it because you don’t have other resources.

Even with resources and time on hand, you must have goals and schedule, the big difference is your goals and schedule is entirely yours, not determined by anyone else. That’s a huge liberation but also a huge responsibility to self. Working doesn’t give you that since you kind of live your time based on what the company machinery wants from you, so you can just outsource this responsibility and be lazy.

Stages of life

 It’s a unique and probably privileged stage to be in. Having tested retirement with financials working out and now back to a job that pays well and having a target end date in my mind. 

My views and outlook are totally different from anyone else in the team. 

It’s a little confusing as well but exciting at the same time

Why it hurts so much

 Heartache is a deep deep type of pain. It’s not physical pain, but you’ll wish it was. Such heartache pain seem bottomless and just come back again and again. How? How?

Coffee and Son

 Having a cuppa while hanging out with my boy. These days everyone just are absorbed into their little world via the tiny phone screen. It’s the same for us. But having him next to me and chilling is more than enough happiness for me. And the nice long black is a bonus

Days of life

 At age 50, I am definitely past the mid point of my lifespan. 

It means I have lived more days than I what I have left. It’s morbid to think about it and I believe most people won’t think about it. 

But at some point, we must think about it. Why?

It gives us new perspective on life. 

Someone in their 20s will have a completely different life outlook than me in my 50s. They have additional 30yrs of time compared to what I have left. 

At 50, I must spend my remaining time in this Earth intentionally. And not use it to live someone else’s expectations.

Supposedly I can be lucky to life a healthy life until I am 80. That means I have 30yrs left. That’s 10,950 days. It’s not a lot isn’t it? One third of that time will be spent sleeping lol.

Some may think 30yrs is a long time! Really?

Let’s put this into a mental model…

Assume you have a savings account with $10,950 balance. And this terrible account doesn’t pay out interest at all. And you must withdraw $1 everyday. After 1 year, balance is $10,585. After 10yrs? $7,300. And if this is all the money you have to live on, you’ll start panicking right? You will watch how you spend that $1 daily. Now that’s how I approach my life remaining time. Each day is precious. I make it a point to enjoy it fully. I make it a point to not get too upset with silly h things. Not get too caught up with unreasonable people I meet at work place. They have their own lives and if they want to be mean to me, it’s on them not me. I want to enjoy my day. You can go on and be mad and you are just wasting your $1

Holdings in SG market

 

It's crazy to see STI hitting new highs in past year. I wonder how long this climb will continue

This is a stark departure from old days when STI is mostly flat and then have sharp dips due to global black swans. 

May the good days continue until I am ready to retire and cash out 

Total value now SGD$1,395,479.718

Spending freely

 doing an experiment now. From now until end of 2025, I don’t intend to save money. I’ll spend freely as long as my income can cover it. This will be income from employment, not investment dividends/interest payouts.

TBH, given the big holiday expense in Dec, the “freely” is a little over the top lol. 

But still, given that my dividends can pay mortgage and car loans and basic utilities, I’ll have a ball of time for rest of year!

This isn’t about spending on extremely expensive luxury goods or high end dining. It’s about spending freely on things that I need and want, without worrying about not being able to save some money from my income. I feel this is like a treat to myself as well as my family.

For e.g., saw that nice pair of running shoes even though I already have a pair of another brand at home? Go for it! 

That delicious looking food in a fancy place (not fine dining)? Go for it!

That nice adidas tee shirt that costs $70? Go for it!

That new PS5 game? Buy!

That nice headphone? Buy lah!

See what I mean? It will be a ball!

Will come back to Earth in Jan 2026

Sunday morning run in nature

 Alongside this is an old nursery home compound with rather traditional architecture

Good to take in fresh air early morning  

Coffee

 Nothing beats having nice coffee and a moist banana cake to start the weekend.

Work has been manageable I think but who knows lol. 

As usual, must keep reminding myself it’s all about taking “baby steps”. Steps that look deceptively easy but yet requires a lot of courage and effort to have chance of success. Keep at it.

Regardless, I am playing a different game this time than all other gigs before this. There is an end point, there is an option, and there is fallback. And most importantly, it’s my terms and my choice. POV of others is totally different now I think. But I must stay humble and still open my mind to learn

What’s concerning is I felt really tired suddenly last Thursday. Not sure why. 

I suspect the new routine is working its way into my system. I might had slept too little. Need to adjust to ensure I get sufficient sleep besides just eating well. I also didn’t managed to run or walk during the weekdays. Need to find a slot to do it next week!

Life is still very good.